Forever Young
Just started night float, but it already seems so long and boring. Every night, the same crap again and again. Mr. B has difficulty of breathing? Of course he does! He had CVA and with severe dysphagia, he can't even swallow his own saliva, what you want him to do? Of course all the secretion will be wondering in his throat and making those horrible noise... After N times I explained this to the SAME nurse, I feel I am talking to a wall. Just feed him through PEG, let me go back to my music...
Oh, forever young ...
I feel my life unfolding right in front me, I can see, hmm, maybe feel how it goes, but I can't control it, just drift with life, any struggle will feedback me with pain and anxiety, let it go, let it go...
Oh, forever young...
My birthday is coming, 36? I will become 36 , feels so OLD.... I feel tired to meet new people and explore, but really miss old days and old friends, yes, I become old. As they say, old is a disease, there is no cure for it, only cure is deny it, pretend you are sill young, but you will look like an OLD idiot....
What to do , what to do? I have a destiny but my heart still yong? Heaven can wait, let it wait, I want to see, to feel and to experience... Youth like a diamond under the Sun, diamond is forever...
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